Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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