What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize