Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize