I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
