i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
