come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I am one with the molecules
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
