office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
