nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
