She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize