soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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