How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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