JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
