You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
