Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize