Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
