I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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