ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
