i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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