he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
