Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
