So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
