Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
