Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
