They should really pass out barf bags in church
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
