hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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