She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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