I faked an abortion last night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
