when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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