I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
