Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
