And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
