I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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