A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
