I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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