it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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