She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
