The maid of honor just puked.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
