This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
