Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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