dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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