I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize