Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
