so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
