Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
