he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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