You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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