I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
