he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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