You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
