I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
