whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
