my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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