I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
