ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
