How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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