I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
